Seizing Opportunity

I’ve spent my academic career being a planner, constantly looking towards the future and where I could go. Getting a degree in psychology you basically have to because you have to go to grad school or else…

After graduating with my Bachelor’s, I continued to be in that mindset, constantly thinking, if I can plan my life, I can get to the place where I can be happy. Turns out that’s bullshit. I spent so much time going, going, going and not really taking good care of myself. This resulted in a severe dip in my physical and mental health once I had finally slowed down. This was a huge wakeup call for me. I had to start taking care of myself or I was going to end up in a deep hole.

During this time I began working in special education. There were some mornings before work that I couldn’t stop crying but I got up every day and went to work and doing that probably saved me from total destruction. Slowly I started to get my life back on track. I started living just one day at a time and I stopped planning for the future. This was a big part of my recovery. Looking even a day ahead would throw me into a panic so I stopped doing it.

I’ve been able to start planning ahead a little bit more but I don’t let it control me. I have been staying open minded to opportunities in my life and being open to change and doing what is best for me in the moment or at the time. I’m learning to adapt and to kind of follow what seems like my fate at the time. I was so set on going back to school for my counseling degree and now I have an opportunity to possibly get my teaching degree and so I am exploring and staying open to that and seeing where life takes me instead of where can I take my life. I am trying to find happiness in my current life instead of doing the whole “If I just get this or do this, then I will be happy”.

I get up and look at every single day as a new opportunity. Even if I have a bad day, I try to start fresh each and every day. This is what has kept me sane, the promise of a new day. It all might seem a little cheesy, but what works works. Sometimes you have to lean into the clichés in order to grow and recover even if it seems silly.

Cheers,

Jess